This morning I woke up insecure. Anything and everything I put on was not fitting right and I felt drab, I did not have time to finish doing my hair the way I wanted it done nor did I have time to put on make up. Being on ministry teams on Sunday usually puts us in front of everyone to pray for others or whatever we are needed for. So Sunday I like to be a little bit more "put together" because we are representing the church. But not today! I decided to worship in the car and pray against the insecurity. I was feeling a little better I stepped into church. Pastor Sean was preaching today and guess what he was talking about....IDENTITY! Haha...oh God, you know exactly what I need to hear don't cha?! A little perfect huh?
Well going back to last month at this time I was at the Godchicks conference in LA. They talked a lot about who we are in Christ. Sheila Walsh who is an amazing speaker and has an amazing testimony asked us a question, "Who are you?" She said there was a point in her life where she could not answer that question. I kind of thought it was a silly question...but as she kept talking, I thought okay then Michelle, who are you? And I drew a blank...
I could not answer that question. I read my Bible and I can say what I am supposed to say who I am in Christ. But I have been living my life not really believing who God says I am. Umm...this is kind of a big deal! I have been a "christian" pretty much my whole life. I know the Bible and I serve in a leadership type position at my church...and yet I can't tell who I am in Christ. Woah! Something is not right here. Another speaker at the conference, Christine Cain...this woman is legit! She asked the question, "What is it that is stopping you from believing who you are in Christ?" That's an honest question. I don't have this great answer, I don't have a super traumatic thing that has happend in my life that I need to work through. What is stopping me from believing who I am in Christ is...myself. My selfish desires and fear of man. Selfishness is the root of insecurity. I am looking at me...not at God. If I was to look to God, I wouldn't be insecure. Of course I am going to be insecure if I look at myself, I am nothing, I am worthless, I am broken beyond repair. But that is how great God is! He makes me something, he makes me worthwhile and he can heal my brokeness! Now, the question is, am I willing enough to lay down my selfish pride so he can work through me?
I think it will take a little bit of time to really nail it in my head who I am in Christ. I can already see a change with how I think. God has spoken to me while I am looking in the mirror, He has called me beautiful and told me that I am perfect. I need to believe him when he speaks.
Who am I?
I am his masterpiece
I am his bride
I am perfect
I am free
beautiful
his daughter
his favorite one
good enough
adored
loved
honored
cherished
lovable
i am woth it
blameless
chosen
wonderfully made
sought after
made in his image
capable
elegant
confident
precious
flawless
I am his beloved
