I think I have become a little more sad each day that I don't get to be with Micah. I am so grateful for my mother in law being able to watch him. But everyday that I drop him off I am sad. I don't know what God is doing in this season of our lives. What also made it more difficult is that last week we found out at work that we do not get a day off anymore during the week. That really bummed me out as I look forward to spending a day with my husband and my child, but now Shelden and I do not have one day off together as a family. I am grateful that I have a job and I actually do like my job. But my heart is with Micah. I want to raise him and hangout with him, watch him learn to do new things and watch him grow up into a man of God.
I was hoping that during my maternity leave that there would be a way finacially where I did not have to go back to work. It's funny, I grew up never wanting to be a stay at home mom. I always thought it was wierd when girls said they wanted to stay home with their children. But now I want to do that, I want to be a mom who gets to stay home with the kids.
We are praying into what God has for us, to look past what culture tells us we should do and to seek out what God wants. I can't live in fear of stepping out in faith. Faith is believing in something we cannot see.
We want to live a counter-culture life. So I shouldnt be surprised when people don't agree with how we raise our baby, or live our lives. Jesus was counter-culture...and I want to be like him.
